April was a strange month. The personal took over, and the professional was set aside – almost entirely. But, this was necessary; and, as I often say, what is necessary is never wrong.
I managed to publish posts on Croshare and The Portsmouth and Southsea Consortium, and managed to catch-up with two of the posts in the LGBT History Month series over on my personal blog – one on my relationships with other gender identities and sexualities, and one on the relationship between my genderqueerness and my politics. This leaves me with one left to write in this series, and I’ll be very glad when that’s written and up on my personal blog. I started that series in February, and never expected to still be writing for it three months down the line.
After the first few posts went up in the first week of the month, that was pretty much me done, and I don’t quite know how I managed to finish the second LGBT History Month post as late in the month as I did. Personal and private matters took over and demanded practically the entirety of my attention, and I had to simply ignore most other things.
Both my personal and my collaborative projects took a battering, and I have to say that I can’t feel any regret for that. I’ve had to ignore so much, and set so much aside over the past few weeks, in favour of things that are much more important for me to sort out. I wasn’t able to focus even on anything creative ‘just for me’ – even as a distraction from other matters. Sometimes, it happens this way, and must be accepted as an unavoidable current circumstance.
When this happens, it’s a reminder – and a forceful one – that there may always be something more important than whatever I’m doing at any given moment, or, indeed, what I want to do. I’m proud of myself that I can recognise this, and react/respond to it appropriately. To me, this means that I continue to maintain a healthy awareness of work/life balance, and that I can prioritise those things that really matter in the long term.
I don’t know what else to really write about April, so I’ll leave it there. I know I’m writing this a little late, at the end of the first week of May, and I know there’s already been some bleed from last month into this one, but there’s a lightening of the emotional load; I can feel myself more able to welcome creativity and collaboration back into my life. I hope this will continue, and ‘increase’, over the coming weeks.